Updated: Jul 2, 2020
**This blog is for my single SISters. Married women and men share this with a single sister.**
My beautiful SISters, Have you ever wondered why there are so many single saved sisters in the church? These women are God-fearing servants with a heart for the Lord who earnestly want a husband. These sisters have been through trials in relationships which are liken to Job. Yet, they show up Sunday after Sunday crying out to God and declaring their love for him. They get up from the altar and go past couple after couple to get to their seat, wondering when will they be next. When a SISter moves ahead in the marriage line, they rejoice, with an edge of longing to be next. Tears awash their pillows in those massive Queen-sized beds. They wait for the day, that they will turn over at night and their arms will fall across their husband's chest. They will lie there with the satisfaction of answered prayer. Finally God heard their cry and answered my prayer.
Did your heart race with longing? First, second or third marriage, a woman who desires to be a wife have to wait patiently for God's timing. If we move in God's timing, the weight of your baggage will be lighter. Psalm 55:22, "Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." God uses our singleness for us to deal with our baggage. You should be working on dropping the insecurity bag, anger bag, or whatever baggage you picked up from your last relationship. Drop your baggage at the feet of the throne and keep it moving!
Sometimes being single can feel like a burden and not a blessing. You show up to events alone, some days your flesh is in fornication mode and you have to plow your way through the field of dating. That field of dating is overgrown with men who are not the right one for you. You have to dig deep to be found by the one God has for you. Jesus can sustain your peace, fleshly desires and your heart until you make that rib connection. Trust him my SISter.
Now SISters, let me tell you where WE have made mistakes. We have married our flesh to Christ and not our spirit. Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth
In this verse, God is reminding Israel that he was their provider. He physically provided for them during their exodus out of Egypt and sustained them in the wilderness. As your Spiritual husband God makes provision for you. He loves and nourishes your soul. Physically, SISter you need a man to connect with in order for your natural needs to be met. We are not talking about sex but for God's desire to have his relationship with us mirrored in the natural. Just as God provides, a man should provide. Just as God loves us a man should love us. You get it? God is our standard that we hold every man that we meet to. Does this man have the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) operating in his life? Is he capable of loving you as Jesus loves the church? Does he help you draw near to the Father? These are just a few of the questions that should be answered before a brother moves from a yellow light (Caution) to a green light (He might me husband material).
We have to unmarry our flesh from God. What? Yes! We have to allow ourselves to be physical earthly fleshy women. We can not be so spiritual that we can't be approached by no one but a man who has three Bibles, a cross and who goes to church seven days a week. Even the Bible says the natural comes before the spiritual. Let's be real, you didn't give that brother your number because of the Spirit of God in him, you were attracted to him! You and your future husband are not going to be speaking in tongues all day. Your life will be centered around your mutual love for God.
However that which is spiritual was not first, but that which is natural, and afterward that which is spiritual. (1 Corinthians 15:46) Adam did not have a spiritual connection with Eve until she became natural. He didn't even know he had a need until she was right there in front of him. Adam was not lacking anything not even companionship because he communed with God. God said it was not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18) God doesn't wants us to be physically married to him but equally yoked with a believer. God was everything to Adam and yet God wanted him to have a mate for the physical purpose that God had in mind. Multiplication! SISters it is not good for you to be alone either with just your Bible for companionship.
So instead of presenting yourself as this "Woman of God" who shakes heaven, when you meet a man, just be yourself. Be fun, be witty and just love life. Even if he is not the one, just enjoy spending time with him. Stop looking at every man as a future husband. How many times do you get disgusted because a man only looks at you as bedroom material? He wants sex, you want a husband, both of you are just looking to fulfill your needs. That's not right. Everyone has more to offer than their relationship status or bedroom position. Present your natural side because while you are on earth, that's all you have to offer a man. The Spiritual piece comes in when you and him become one.
He will know you are a Woman of God without you having to advertise it. Your dating standards will speak loudly that you are God's Girl! You don't have to give him a list of "Don'ts" up front. Feel him out and you will know his intentions. If a conversation goes left, bring him right back on track. A man is looking for a wife, not a minister, Sunday school teacher or a Pastor. He wants a woman he can laugh with, have children with, grow with and if you are spiritual that's a bonus for him.
My SISters, I hope you understand what I am speaking to you today. God created you with those curves, bumps and humps so that one day your husband will admire the beauty of the Lord's creation. You can be cute and covered for Jesus and it is okay. You should look too good to be single! You do not have to walk around looking like you hiding all your assets so they won't be stolen. Look good for yourself. A man is attracted by what he sees, not what he hears. Being a woman who is beautiful and who can talk about something other than the Bible does not separate you from God. I am not saying act ungodly, but be yourself, just like you are with your girlfriends. Relax, you are dating, not marrying the man you given your number to. Enjoy the journey.
Thanks to my two girlfriends, Cathy and Monica who inspired this blog. They spoke wisdom sent down from the throne room of God about women just being a woman when they meet a man. Ladies, men want a woman they are attracted to first before they dig in and find out that you are the help-meet they have been waiting on. I am sure that Adam looked Eve up and down before he said she was bone of his flesh. So loosen up, stay saved, celibate but real for the Lord. I am going to take my own advice.