The last day of October and I am posting my first entry. Where did the time go this month? It has been a journey for me since July. After the death of my beloved cat, Mr. Babes, my life spiraled into a dark pit. I became depressed. Yes, I said the dreaded word, depression! It happens to the best of us rather you are a Christian or not. Being saved and filled with the Holy Spirit does not make you immune to the consequences of life, but it does help you navigate out of deep waters faster. I had been drowning in sorrow until I did not have a desire to live anymore. I know you are like, really over a cat? Yes, my grief was as deep as if I had loss a child.
Pets have been my lifeline since I was a lonely child in Mississippi. My cats and dogs were my playmates and they gave me the love I did not have as a child. If you never had a pet, you have missed out on the most non-judgmental love of your life. They love you unconditional and agree with all your decisions 100 percent!
So let's roll up to today, October 31st and how God has lifted my soul out of the pit of despair. I cannot tell you when the moment happened. I just know that I am able to think clearly and my energy level has come back. 2020 has been hard for us all. COVID, lockdown, job loss, isolation, deaths and that's to name a few of the troubles brought on by this year. I know I am not the only one who has felt down or had some level of depression this year. Sometimes life will hit you in your gut, then stand back and laugh at your pain. I took a hard punch this year but I am now standing upright in my pain. God brought me through the fog that clouded my mind and soul. I did not want to do anything. I did the minimum at my job and for my business. Just enough to be employed and just enough to keep my business from failing. Now, I have a renewed sense of purpose. That heaviness that plagued me whenever I did anything is now replaced with joy. Nothing excited me, Nothing made me happy and Nothing gave me hope. Thank God for his resurrection power because he resurrected my joy and peace.
James 1:2-3 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." I count it as joy that my faith was tested and I passed the test. I have always dreaded the day I would have to say good-bye to Mr. Babes. The day it actually happened, I was so close to losing my mind in grief. I felt like God had stepped back and said, "Handle this without me". Have you ever needed God with your whole soul but felt like he had forsaken you? Oh, that's how I felt but I KNOW that God didn't forsake me because there would be moments in my pain, that peace would settle upon my soul. Now, I am able to be creative again. Ideas are flowing and my thoughts are filled with hope. The will to live is surging through my blood again. Psalm 16:9 ESV Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. Yes, I rejoice in the healing power of my Savior Jesus Christ!
My dear readers, if you are dealing with depression, please don't give up on life. The enemy will tempt you with suicidal thoughts but don't you fall into his trap. I am a living witness that God can restore and heal your heavy soul. He has given me joy for my mourning! Isaiah 61:3-To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. Let my journey of pain be a bridge of hope that if you wait on the Lord he will give you beauty for ashes. Life will throw punches and you have to take them. God did not promise us that we would live a trouble-free life but he did promise to deliver us from trouble. Psalm 50:15-And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. Did you notice that in Isaiah 61:3 and Psalm 50:15, that it mentions God being glorified? It is only right for me to give Jesus the glory for what I been through and what he has brought me through. The glory is all yours Lord.
I encourage my readers to keep going when you feel overwhelmed by life. Life changes direction like the wind. One minute you are up and the next you are down and then it reverses itself. Life is a cycle of joy and pain. You have to stay anchored in the Lord. Your heart is capable of recovering from brokenness when you give it to Jesus. If you are still in the valley of decision about accepting Jesus as your Savior, make a decision today to accept him as your Lord and Savior. He is help in times of trouble. He will give you a peace that no one in this world will understand. I am a living witness that he will restore your soul!
-Your favorite Ruby Girl