Fear, you have to go!
As I neared the sharp curve, I felt my stomach drop and my body started to tense up. I could hear fear speaking in my ear. "You are going to flip over. You will miss the curve and go over the edge." My hands tighten up on the steering wheel. Whew. I made it through the curve. Then the next sharp curve came up. I wanted to scream. Fear just took over my thoughts and my body. I slowed down from 70 to 50 miles per hour. I was hoping my passengers didn't notice that fear was creeping up on me. Fear won that day. I came up at the next stop and declared that I couldn't drive anymore. My fingers were cramping from holding the steering wheel so hard and I was literally shaking on the inside. The energy drink I had drank, amplified the effects of the fear. I was embarrassed as we traveled on and I would grip the side of the door every time we went through a sharp curve. I have had anxiety before while driving through curves on the highway but never like this! The first time I had reaction to curves, I remember fear caused me to jerk the car into the other lane. I was shaking from fear. Thank God no one was in the lane next to me. I was willing to risk an accident rather than to stay in the last lane. So I thought I only had to drive in the 2nd lane and I would be alright. It was just me driving in the last lane, near the edge of the road that caused the fear, so I told myself. Lies!
I have fought the spirit of fear all of my life. I remember how I loved watching scary movies because I loved to be afraid. I loved scary rides at the fair and I had no fear of feeling fear! I didn't know that I was feeding the spirit of fear in me by doing these things. Now, I am older and somehow I have opened the door to a fear of driving. When I tell you, I loved driving the highway. I loved leaning into the curves and seeing the car gobble up the highway like Pacman. I have traveled by myself to Milwaukee for years. Now, that must come to an end until I can overcome this fear.
Having anxiety about something that no one else is afraid of can make you feel weak. I didn't want anyone to know this dark secret. God exposed it on my trip to New York. It made me feel l